Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Frustrated and tired

I don't know how many of you know that I'm a social work student in my final year of school. I'm in 400 level practice classes right now so I can intern in the fall before graduating. I'm so frustrated right now because one of my professors is teaching a class that is so complicated to understand: Macro Practice, but she makes it interesting by doing in class activities with myself and the other student in the class (yes, I said student, there are 2 of us). The other class, Micro Practice, is taught by a professor who takes life too seriously and has no sense of humor. Right now, my frustration stems from trying to outline a chapter from a book that goes everywhere with no organization. I don't understand how the writers of this book got away with writing in such a manner, and further, I don't understand why my professor chose this book to teach out of.
My tiredness, actually exhaustion comes from being restless because Jeremy is in training for 12 weeks and cannot come home. I am here, going to school, taking care of Sydney, and trying to do my best to keep my sanity. Poor Sydney is teething and a normal 19 month old that is finding her wings and voice. It's difficult to keep up with her when I feel like the house is falling down around me because I get so behind on housework as I'm trying to play with her and clean at the same time. Inevitably, I'm neglecting someone or something, and I don't want it to be her that's neglected. Where is the balance?
My class is at 8 am, so the night before, I have to pack Sydney's breakfast and lunch for Kayla's house, and most of the time shower, tonight, I don't have the energy. My desire for the time that Jeremy's gone is to do the best I can with everything, school, caring for Sydney in his absence, taking care of the house, paying the bills, and trying to lose some weight before summer so I can wear a bikini without scaring people. It'll take time for me to get into my rhythm, in the meantime, I'm functioning on a wing and a prayer.